


Dream or Reality?

by Spencyfrenchy



Category: Wentworth (TV)
Genre: F/F, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-21
Updated: 2015-07-26
Packaged: 2018-04-05 02:15:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4161843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spencyfrenchy/pseuds/Spencyfrenchy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joan dreams of Jianna almost every night. She never would have expected she would get a different visitor in one of her dreams.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_She felt the soft pads of her fingers graze over her leg, working their way up to her thighs. They teased her, coming closer and closer at an achingly slow speed, almost to where she wanted them most. But right before they got to her center, the touch faded. This was not like the usual, fast paced quickies she was used to. No, this was slow. She was taking her time with her lover, making sure she was completely satisfied by the end of all of this. She groaned, longing for her touch again. Longing to feel the softness touch her skin once more. She wanted to lose control, to feel like she was breaking in half as she came apart in her arms. She begged and pleaded to be touched again. But the touch never came. Instead, it was something better. She could have cried when she felt the wetness of her tongue glide over her center, gathering up her juices that seemed to become more and more abundant over time. When she felt her tongue graze her clit, she let out a deep, guttural moan. Already, she was so close. She warned her lover that it wouldn't take long. Before she could take another breath, she let out a yell as her lover's fingers penetrated her, curling upwards, hitting the spot she knew would send her over the edge. Her tongue made work on her clit and before she knew it, she was falling over the edge, her orgasm rushing through her like a tidal wave._

_"Jianna," she whispered, beckoning for the younger girl to come closer to her. Her eyes widened though, as she looked down to see, not Jianna. "Vera," she choked out."_

* * *

 Joan woke up with a start, shooting straight up in her bed. She was confused. No, not confused. She couldn't even think of the word for it. Jianna frequented her dreams on an almost nightly basis, and she welcomed those dreams with open arms. Especially those that contained such, ahem, pleasure. But never once had her Deputy visited her in dream land, and definitely not in those pleasurable dreams, despite the increased amount of time they spent together as of late.

She slowly got out of bed and headed for her bathroom. She couldn't help but still have certain  _feelings_ in her body, after such a vivid dream. So she opted for a cold shower, hoping that it would take the edge off. She was wrong. Her shower only gave her more vivid images in her head, but still, not of Jianna. She imagined Vera, standing naked, water dripping down her neck, towards the valley between her breasts. She imagined leaning down to lick the droplets of water off of her. She imagined pushing her against the cold shower wall and taking her without any warning whatsoever. Needless to say, she was going to have a very interesting day ahead of her at work. 

* * *

Vera Bennett clocked in and immediately started her first set of rounds for the day. She checked herself once more, making sure everything was in place before heading off down the hall. It had been a quiet past few weeks. Since Franky Doyle got parole, it seemed like everything had calmed down. Even H Block, which was still a difficult group of women with or without Franky, was doing okay. She finished her rounds and headed towards the Governor's office to bid her good morning.

She didn't know when things changed between the Governor and herself, but it seemed as if they were more friendly towards each other than usual. Joan, she insisted that Vera call her that in privacy, almost always had a bottle of some sort of alcohol waiting for them after the end of Vera's shifts. And if they got off at a different time, they would meet up, usually at Joan's house after the last one got off work. Vera smiled at the thought. She liked that they were getting along so well, and she liked having someone to talk to.

She knocked on the door before entering, smiling at Joan who barely glanced up from her computer. "Good morning Governor. How are things going today?" She sat down in the chair opposite Joan, pulling it up as close to the desk as she could.

"Everything is going well so far Ms. Bennett," Joan replied, not daring to even glance at Vera. "I trust you have news? Or something that can aid me today?"

Vera had a confused look on her face. "No ma'am. I just simply finished my rounds and I thought I would come by to see how everything was going." She pulled her chair back a little and stood up. "But I can see that you're busy so I'll leave you to it."

Joan nodded and gave her a small wave. She only looked up when she heard footsteps leading to her door. She watched as Vera walked out and cursed herself for not having the slightest bit of courage to even look at her.

* * *

Vera went on with her day, the Governor still riding heavily on her mind. Did she do something to make Joan mad? Or was she simply in one of her moods? It ate at her until the end of her shift, so instead of clocking out and going home, she clocked out and headed back towards her office. She went in without knocking and walked straight to the side of the desk where Joan sat.

"I'm sorry Governor. I would just like to know, have I done something?" Joan looked at her questionably. "You just seemed, I don't know. You seemed different towards me this morning. I didn't know if I had done something or said something, but if I have, I would just like to know what it was so that I can-"

Joan stood up and turned away from Vera, walking towards her fridge. Vera huffed, thinking the Governor was ignoring her. But when Joan turned around with a bottle of gin and two glasses in her hand, a small smile graced her face.

"No, Vera. You did nothing wrong. Come, sit," she beckoned as she sat down on the leather couch. She poured them both a hefty amount of liquor, handing one glass to Vera. "I had an interesting morning, and it left me with a lot on my mind. I simply did not know how to process it all, which is why I acted as I did. I do apologize for making you feel that something was the matter."

Vera suddenly looked relieved. "Good. I mean, not good that you had such heavy things on your mind, but good that you aren't mad at me." She paused to take a sip of her drink, wincing at the strength of it. "Well you know that a friendship goes two ways, you can talk to me if you would like."

 _Friendship._ Joan laughed internally. If Vera had known the depth of her feelings, there would be no type of friendship left. "I appreciate the sentiment, Vera. But the matters of which my thoughts are focusing on are a bit more of a," she coughed, "private concern."

Vera's face scrunched up in confusion, followed by realization. "Oh, I understand Joan. But the offer still stands, despite what kind of thoughts you are having. If you would like to talk about them, I am always here to listen."

"I'm sure you don't want to hear about my thoughts, dear," she took a small sip of her drink, not daring to let herself get too out of control.

Vera smirked and downed the rest of her drink. She leaned over Joan to reach for the bottle before filling her glass back up. "But I think I do, Governor."

To say she was uncomfortable was an understatement. Joan was downright frightened. She took another, larger gulp of her drink before turning towards Vera. "As I am sure you have heard, I was, well, intimate with a prisoner during my time at Blackmoor."

"Yes, Jianna. I've-I've heard the story before," Vera replied hesitantly.

Joan nodded. "Since that day, although it's been years, Vera, I still remember every single thing about her. The way she looked, the way she smelled, the way she," Joan paused, chuckling nervously. "The way she felt. I remember it all. I still have dreams about her. Some bad, but mostly good dreams." She raised her glass to her lips, downing the last half of her gin. "Dreams seem so much better than reality, I think, especially in my current circumstances. And the dream I had last night, oh what a lovely dream it was, until..." She paused for several seconds until Vera took her out of her own thoughts.

"Until what, governor?"

"Oh yes, my apologies. The dream, it was quite...pleasing, if you will. Until I look down to see that it is not Jianna looking up at me, but rather someone else. And needless to say, it threw me for quite a loop."

Vera nodded and took everything in. She wanted to ask the question she knew the Governor was waiting for. She wanted to know who it was. And there was a part of her that wanted the Governor to say her name.

"For so long, Vera, I was too good at keeping to myself. I didn't let anybody in. I did it in fear of the past coming back to haunt me, to have something happen to someone else I cared deeply for." Joan cleared the rest of her drink in one gulp. "It worked for quite some time. I did my job, I was good at my job, because I did not let anyone affect me emotionally. Even since I came here, I haven't fully let anyone in. Well, except perhaps you, Vera." Joan paused and silently cursed herself. She could have left that last part out. "A-And that is why I am so confused because I thought I was continuing to do well in not letting my emotions get the better of me. Yet here I am, dreaming about someone completely different. That has to mean something, don't you think, Vera?" Joan reached for the alcohol and poured another drink. She motioned for Vera's glass and filled hers as well.

Vera stayed quiet for a moment, processing everything Joan was telling her. Deciding on a bit more liquid courage, she tilted the now full glass of gin back and started to drink. She drink the whole thing and sat the glass on the table beside her. "It was me, wasn't it Governor?" Joan did not look up, instead she focused on the ground, not daring to look at Vera. "Silence is deafening, Joan. Just say it, yes or no?"

Joan stayed still for another moment before barely tilting her head up and down. Vera smiled softly and moved closer to the Governor. "So why won't you look at me and say it?"

Joan quickly turned to look at Vera. "Why? Because I just told you everything, Vera. And now you get to go around and tell all of your little coworkers that The Freak has a thing for you. That's what you want, isn't it? To mock me? To make fun of me? Look at the bloody smirk on your face, I know that look. That's the look I got from inmates day in and day out at Blackmoor. This is why I don't show emotion! This is why people say I'm heartless! It's because any time I bare any part of my soul, it's used against me, just like you're going to do!"

"Fuck you," Vera stuttered, a glint of anger apparent in her eye. "You know absolutely nothing about me, Governor. And if you did, and if you claimed to like me like you do then you know I would never even imagine doing something of that nature to you!" Vera stood up, adamant on leaving. But Joan was not having it. She stood up and grabbed Vera by her wrist, pulling her back. "Are you going to keep me trapped in here? Afraid I'll tell Will? Or Fletch? How about I go tell Smith and the girls from H2? I know they'll love to hear about this. Oh wait, I wouldn't do that. Do you know why?" She didn't even wait for Joan to respond. "Because when I like someone, I don't go and use stuff they say against them!" Joan heard enough. She reached out, grasped Vera's shirt, and pulled her forcefully towards her. Their lips met in a passionate, heated kiss. Joan stepped back, still holding Vera's shirt to pull her with her. The back of her legs hit the couch and she fell, pulling Vera into her lap. She wrapped her arms around her neck as the kiss progressed. Joan gasped audibly when she felt Vera's teeth graze her lips. Before things progressed too much, Joan pulled back.

"Fuck," Joan cursed as the smaller woman slid off of her lap. She held out a hand and pulled the Governor up, kissing her once more. "My house, one hour?"

Vera smiled and nodded. Tonight was going to get much more interesting.


	2. Chapter 2

Precisely one hour later, Vera found herself in front of the door leading into the Governor's home. She raised her hand to knock at the same time that the door had opened. Joan stood on the opposite side of the doorway looking quite a bit more relaxed than she did at work. She was wearing a black silk night shirt that went down to her knees. Her hair was down, passing way below her shoulders. Vera found herself blatantly checking the older woman out and quickly looked away, emitting a small chuckle of embarrassment.  
  
"Do you plan on just standing on my doorstep all night?" Joan asked, stepping aside so the smaller woman could walk in. Vera shuddered as she felt hands on her shoulders. "May I take your jacket?" Joan asked, already pulling it off of her. She stepped away to hang it up on her coat rack, giving Vera a minute to compose herself. She thought the hour long break would loosen her up a bit, but no. She was just as, if not more, wound up than she was in the Governor’s office earlier that day. As Joan walked back, she grasped Vera’s hand in a surprisingly gentle embrace, and led her to the couch.

Vera sat down next to Joan, who still had not released her hand. Not that Vera minded…well she did, but for other reasons. Just the simple gesture made Vera feel like she was on fire. They sat for a few moments, each of them taking peeks of the other, as if they were giddy school girls again. It was Vera who broke the silence. “Tell me about her,” she said softly, not making eye contact with Joan.

“Jianna?” Joan asked, her voice cracking as she said the name. Despite how much she thought about her, or the fact that she had just spoken about her a mere hour ago, it didn’t make it easier on her to say her name. “She was special, oh she was so special. She came in, scared and pregnant and she didn’t know what she was going to do. The first time anything of an, uhm, intimate nature happened was one evening when I was doing the count for her unit. She was nowhere to be found. I didn’t want her to be reprimanded,” she paused and both of the women chuckled at the irony of it.

“That sounds nothing like you now, Governor.” Vera stated.

Joan nodded. “Yes well, that’s what happened to me after…” she paused, unable to continue. “Anyways, back to where I was yes? I searched for her, ended up finding her in the showers. She was sitting on the floor in tears and I don’t know what came over me. I quickly went to her and simply sat next to her and allowed her to cry. She held onto me, pulled me as close as we could possibly get and I just held her for what seemed like forever.”

* * *

**Flashback**

_Joan could not bring herself to tell the smaller woman to move away, that this was unethical. Why? Why couldn't she simply just push her away? Why didn't she **want** to push her away?_

_"Jianna," she whispered, running her fingers through the younger girl's hair. "Shh, it will be okay, it will be."_

_What Jianna said next broke her heart. "No, it's not going to. Everybody hates me, everybody. My parents, my family, the inmates...all I want is to be loved by somebody." Jianna couldn't keep talking before she broke out into another fit of sobs. Joan had to hold back tears herself. She couldn't imagine what this young girl had gone through in just a short life.  
_

_"You will...you are loved, Jianna," she whispered, pulling the girls face up to look at her._

_Jianna scoffed. "Tell me one person who loves me, do it, because so far I see none," she spat out angrily._

_Joan knew she shouldn't do it. Her conscience told her it was not a good idea, but her heart ultimately won as she leaned in and kissed Jianna. It took a moment for everything to register, but soon, Jianna was kissing her back._

* * *

Vera still could not believe everything Joan had just told her. But, as she was well aware of, Joan had changed dramatically from her time at Blackmore to her time at Wentworth, and now it was easier for Vera to see why. The Governor hadn’t moved a muscle since she had gotten done talking. She simply stared straight ahead, trying not to convey any emotion. She knew that if she looked over at Vera, she was done for.

“Joan…” Vera started. She moved closer to the older woman. She took Joan’s free hand into her own and held both of them now, softly rubbing circles on the tops of them with her thumbs. It was that little movement that made her finally look at Vera. “Joan it’s been twenty years. You need to let go. You need to let someone else in,” Vera paused to see a single tear glide down Joan’s cheek. She released one of her hands and moved it to her face. She wiped the tear drop off with her thumb and continued to caress her soft skin.

“I’m scared, Vera,” Joan admitted. “I’m scared of what it means to let go. I don’t want to forget her.”

“Oh Joan, you won’t. But you will start to feel the pain ease. And you will have someone there to help you,” she leaned in and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. “Let me help you, please?” Joan nodded and Vera smiled softly. She kissed her once, twice, three more times before it was Ferguson who initiated the next kiss. This time, it was a bit more heated. Vera’s tongue licked over Joan’s lips, seeking entrance which was promptly given. Joan moaned at the intrusion. She could taste gin, obviously from earlier, and something sweet that she couldn’t really place. Vera’s arms snaked around Joan’s neck at the same time that Joan’s arms wrapped around Vera’s waist.

“Bed?” Vera asked, pulling away from the kiss. Joan nodded and quickly picked Vera up. Her legs wrapped around Joan and she couldn’t help but let out a small gasp at the friction she was causing between her legs with every step forward. After what seemed like an eternity, Joan and Vera found their destination. Joan carefully sat Vera down on the bed. She kneeled down in front of her and slowly began to undress the smaller woman. Vera, who was normally extremely shy, allowed Joan to continue to take all of her clothes off until she sat naked on the bed. Joan stood up and started to unbutton her silk top before Vera stopped her.

“Let me, please?” She asked. Joan hesitated for a moment before nodding. This was something she never did: allow someone else to have any power. But with Vera, it seemed different. Vera saw her as a person, not a monster like she allows everyone else to see. It scared her. Twenty years it had been since she had not only been intimate with someone sexually, but in any way possible. Vera was the first person she had allowed herself to trust. Now it was just seeing if she keeps that trust. Vera slid off her pants and panties, leaving Joan standing there just as open as Vera.

Vera laid back on the bed, not taking her eyes off of Joan. Joan studied Vera intently. Her eyes swept over her whole body, from her eyes, which had become remotely darker, to between her legs, which already glistened. Joan growled hungrily before pouncing on Vera. She took her lips in a rough kiss, softly biting on the plump skin. Vera gasped at the painful yet pleasurable sensation. Joan placed her thigh between Vera’s legs, eliciting a moan from the smaller woman’s mouth. She pressed against Joan’s thigh, trying to relieve some friction. Joan gasped as she felt the evidence of Vera’s arousal coat her leg and it just made the animal inside of her come out with even more fervor.

Joan started to travel south, stopping only to kiss her neck, then her breasts. After an achingly slow journey, she reached her destination and knelt on the ground. She spread Vera’s legs wide and her mouth watered at the glistening sight before her. Without warning, she plunged her tongue inside of Vera’s folds. “Fuck!” Vera cursed loudly, unable to control herself as Joan’s tongue did amazing work on her. She grasped the bed sheets, needing something to hold onto as Joan deliberately paused her movements, her tongue laying flat on Vera’s clit. Vera’s breath caught in her throat as Joan slowly slid a finger inside of her. Slowly, she moved in and out while her tongue still ran over Vera’s clit.

“Joan,” Vera gasped. “More, please,” she moaned. Joan complied and inserted another finger. She moved a bit faster, curling her fingers upwards with every forward thrust. She could feel Vera’s legs shaking around her head and she knew she was getting close. She looked up, making eye contact with Vera as she continued her thrusts. She grazed her clit with her teeth and sucked on it softly, which threw Vera over the edge. She thrashed around on the bed, her thighs wrapped tight around Joan’s head as she moved. Joan did not break eye contact once, nor did she stop her ministrations. She slowed down her movements as Vera’s orgasm subsided until she was completely still. She withdrew her fingers and slid them into her mouth, biting back a moan as she got one more taste of Vera.

“Here,” Vera managed to choke out in her post-orgasmic haze. Joan looked to see Vera pointing to the side of the bed next to her and quickly complied with her new lover. She wrapped her arm around Vera and pulled her in for a soft kiss. While Joan had simply planned to cuddle and possibly fall asleep, Vera had other plans. Joan became very aware and very afraid of these plans as Vera rolled over on top of Joan. The kiss turned passionate as Vera sucked on Joan’s lower lip. Her hands traveled down the sides of the older woman who was inwardly cursing her body for betraying her. She couldn’t do this, not now, not ever.

“Vera,” Joan breathed between kisses. “Stop, please?” Vera quickly stopped. “I-I can’t…”

Vera gazed sadly into the older woman’s eyes. “Joan…” she whispered, leaning down to kiss her neck. “You have to let go.” She ran her hands lovingly over Joan’s cheeks. “You have to move on from this,” she said as she traveled further south to Joan’s breasts. Taking one carefully in her hands, she massaged it softly while she took her nipple into her mouth, her tongue lapping over it until it was rock hard. She switched sides and did the same to the opposite one. Joan, as nervous and scared and uncomfortable as she was, could not stop the moan that escaped from her lips. Vera crawled back up Joan’s body and kissed her again. Her hands, though, had a different destination.

“Please,” Vera asked. “Let me make you feel good.” Joan hesitated for a moment before nodding. Vera slid her hand downward until she felt a small patch of coarse curls. She looked at Joan, not able to take her eyes off of her new found lover, and went just a little lower. The first touch brought tears to Joan’s eyes. Vera slid her fingers through Joan’s lips before two fingers made their ways inside of her. Vera kissed Joan’s cheeks, wiping away the tears that she knew were going to flow. It had been twenty years since she had been touched like this. It was time she was reminded of how it felt to be loved.

“It’s okay,” Vera whispered as she slowly thrust her fingers in and out of Joan. “I’ve got you,” she cooed as she sped up just a little bit. She kissed Joan softly. She reached up with her thumb to massage Joan’s clit, causing the Governor to buck her hips and gasp into Vera’s mouth. Vera’s thrusts became faster as she felt Joan move her hips to meet each thrust. She felt her walls clench up around her fingers. “Let go,” Vera whispered. She knew Joan was holding back. She knew what this would mean for Joan if she allowed herself to become completely unhinged. And she knew that this was probably what she needed more than anything. “I love you,” Vera whispered as she felt Joan’s whole body start to shake. She watched as her lover shook and gasped as she rode out an extremely intense orgasm. She continued to thrust her fingers inside, intending to do so until she stopped. But what happened next shocked both of them. Almost as soon as one orgasm was finished, another one ripped through Joan stronger than the one before it. She screamed and grabbed Vera, digging her nails into her back as she rode out the most intense orgasm of her life. Vera stopped her movements as Joan’s body finally froze. Vera removed her fingers from Joan and brought them up to her mouth, licking them clean.

“Vera…” Joan muttered. She lifted her hand to Vera’s cheek and pulled her down for a sweet kiss. “I love you too,” she whispered. Vera just grinned and kissed her lover once more. Joan felt like she needed a 10-hour long nap, but she wasn’t about to waste anymore time. She had spent twenty years doing that. It was time for her to relax and enjoy her life, and enjoy the company she was with. It was time to enjoy reality for a change.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I haven't updated in a minute! Hopefully this will make up for it. I do hope you all enjoy it and I hope I did these two amazing characters justice. Thank you to all of you who read this story and commented/left kudos. Who knows, there may be more to come one day ;) Anyways, enjoy :D


End file.
